12:24pm
So I love pictures of my kiddos, my family...and if we are being truly honest, myself.
There are only a couple of pictures of me as a child that I know of, and even fewer that look like genuinely happy pictures of me and my siblings. Photos weren't important to my bio dad. The luxury of paying for professional photos was one that was lost on our family.
Last night we had a family friend, who also is a photographer, come over to do some shots of the family. I always imagine these photo shoots will go something like a fantasy: the kids will smile dazzingly, yet naturally. My hair will be flawless. The photographer will do me the favor of photoshopping out the little bald spot in my eyebrow due to a bad waxing the day before. The stuff of dreams, right?
Wrong. Dear baby Jesus, I was wrong.
Little Miss took one look at our friend and lost it. Hiding in my neck, crying, lost it.
Let me tell you a little secret: Little Miss is me, reinvented. She doesn't do well when people are 'in her face'. She is more like a shark. She has to circle you at a distance. But don't make eye contact with her. Then she will come closer- but still, don't meet her gaze. After a few more minutes, or hours, she will 'accidentally bump' into you.
It truly is like watching shark week.
Hubby hasn't realized this. Photo friend didn't know it. But Mommy does.
Because Mommy is the same way.
Hubby and Photo friend kept trying to make silly faces, hollering out, just general silliness in the hopes of breaking the ice. That just made her more sullen and nervous.
We went through about 75% of our photo time with her in this mood. Bribing her with gummies because we had a very small window, we were outside, it was bedtime, and the rain was starting. It was about survival.
I should have spoken up and asked them to take it down a notch. To give her time to be her sharky little self. I didn't. I was too busy trying to look cute in case he snapped a picture of me 'naturally' interacting with little man.
When we finished, she had had some time to warm up to the photo friend. She was giggly, bubbly, her normal self. I laid both kids down for a much overdue bedtime and thought about little miss's natural stranger danger alarm.
 |
| Stranger Danger anyone? |
- Trust and respect their need for space in new situations.
- Give them time to explore new people with you there to show them it is safe.
-Allow them to say no to new people. No forcing them to speak to strangers or give hugs or high fives if they are uncomfortable.
Trusting and following her lead with new people is hard. It is inconvenient, especially when I want to drop her off at gym child care and she is screaming she wants to go home. It's hell when I have an appointment and don't have a grandparent available to keep her.
But it is the right way. It teaches her to trust her inner instinct, because mommy trusts it. It teaches her it is okay to say no to hugs, kisses, high fives or any other touches she doesn't want- regardless of it is coming from mommy, daddy or another authority figure.
My only exception? When we are ordering food at a restaurant. If little miss wants something, she needs to look at and speak to the waitress to place her order. This teaches her to use her manners, to speak politely to wait staff and to make choices.
I wonder if they make toddler sized shark signs for her to wear: Beware of Shark Nudges.
or
Do Not Approach
hmmm. etsy idea perhaps?
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